


Where She Saw Herself

by SoWrongButSoWrite (CinnaStarks)



Series: Inquisitor Izuna [19]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Character Development, Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 12:19:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4304808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinnaStarks/pseuds/SoWrongButSoWrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The sooner you end this, the sooner you’ll be able to leave.” She would repeat to herself whenever fear began to creep up her spine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where She Saw Herself

For as long as she could remember, Izuna has not been religious. There was not a clear reason that she could recall, she just didn’t feel a connection to those gods her Keeper would go on about. To her, they were no different from the heroes she read about in shemlen storybooks. They existed, but their affect on her life felt minimal.  She never admitted it, though, since such a thought would have terrified poor Deshanna. 

When the Breach forced her to stay where people thought she was either a murderer or a prophet, where the only vallaslin she saw for weeks was in her own reflection, there were no gods to pray to for salvation. If there had been gods to pray to, she wanted to believe that they would have stopped the Conclave from ever happening. Since the Conclave did happen, praying for good fortune in its aftermath seemed foolhardy. 

Instead, she spoke to the only person who could control her destiny; Izuna Lavellan. “The sooner you end this, the sooner you’ll be able to leave.” She repeated to herself whenever fear began to creep up her spine. Easier said than done. Nevertheless, it was something to hold onto. 

Until she sealed the Breach, the Inquisition was just a wall she needed to climb over to get back to her clan. As an elf, the misplacing of her name in Chantry history books was an inevitable reality that even the most optimistic of her clan accepted. No one outside of her people would remember her as anything more than an elf who managed to save their world. After two shemlen women did it in the span of ten years, Izuna wondered if time would be kind enough to even remember her race. 

Though that realism would remain intact as the Breach’s closure grew nearer, Izuna could not help but enjoy Haven’s population. Watching Seeker Pentaghast and Commander Cullen while they trained became a habit of hers. To someone who would have to lead an entire clan when the time came, observing their various leadership strategies was far more fascinating than simply reading about them. Speaking of reading, Varric was more than willing to discuss literature of all sorts with her. Unlike Cassandra and Cullen, the dwarf’s company allowed her to let go of responsibility for a while.

Still, that prayer would fall from her lips every once and a while. “The Inquisition is temporary.” Izuna said when part of her began to doubt how much she wished to leave. “Your clan is permanent.”

Then he arrived.

He was nothing like anything she had faced in the past months. Even from afar, he seemed to be a threat that wouldn’t be stopped in a day. Demons did not carry themselves like mortals, but this man couldn’t have looked farther from a mortal. He was something new, entirely.

As Izuna rushed around Haven, saving anyone she could, part of her considered using the chaos to her advantage and fleeing. This was a battle that couldn’t be won in a day. Lost, perhaps, but not won. 

When Roderick suggested that someone distract him while the rest of Haven escaped through a secret tunnel, all thoughts of fleeing vanished. Izuna knew that her chances at surviving this diversion were slim, but it would be a sacrifice. Surely, someone would remember her sacrifice. Varric would, she knew that. Perhaps he would write about her as he wrote about the Champion. 

But she would not die. Not when Corypheus tried to remove her anchor nor when he through her against a trebuchet. She did not die when she collapsed in a nearby cave nor when she woke up to the sound of a nearby rift. 

Izuna stood at the cave’s mouth. Beyond the abyss of grey and white was a future that didn’t involve Clan Lavellan. She would have to fight and keep fighting this seemingly immortal threat for a period she could not begin to estimate. It was as if a divine being, be it the Maker or Mythal, had come down and told her that she was meant to be something more than a Keeper.

In one night,  “The sooner you end this, the sooner you’ll be able to leave _.”_ had become “You cannot give up on them. You will not give up on them.” 


End file.
